brainwidth

I never read it.

I was supposed to read Island of the Blue Dolphins, like many of us were.

…but I don’t think I read a single chapter.

Same with such hits as:

My Brother Sam is Dead

The Cay

White Fang

and others.

And so began my long career of getting by on charm alone.

Which is to say:

I barely made it through the system.

Also: I’m so sorry, Sokeri.

I think I did read The Cay if only because I know what a cay is and I don’t know how else I would have come by that knowledge. I know I bluffed White Fang, though. I was always the kid in class reading the next question in the list at the end of the story in case the teacher called on me and then sighing with relief when she didn’t. The worst part was I loved to read, but I loved not doing my homework way more.

14 hours ago (Comments)

All I can think about in hearing Palin’s super lame excuse for not running for re-election is George Bush in the Simpson’s “Two Bad Neighbors” writing in his memoir: “And, having achieved all my goals as president in one term, there was no need for a second”

2 days ago (Comments)

The tool

The result

Made our quarterly trip to the range today and decided to try out something a little bigger than the pistols we usually rent.

Turns out J is deadly with this thing - first time she’s ever shot better than I have.

3 days ago (Comments)

Confused

funsizebytes:

rrrrred:

KRIS: that’s a lot of raisin bran
ME: you’re a lot of raisin bran
KRIS: your mom’s a lot of raisin bran
KRIS: because she never was a cornflake girl
ME: i don’t know what that’s a reference to so i’m going to ignore it
KRIS: It’s a Tori Amos quote
KRIS: which is a reference to corn flakes being created by fundies who thought tasty food made you more sexually active
KRIS: In short, your mom’s a whore
ME: the executive summary belongs at the top
KRIS: I apologize
KRIS: In this exchange I plan to humorously imply that the person you refer to as mother has loose sexual morals.
ME: Proceed.

To which poeks replied:

I think I had this exact conversation with my sister last week. Freaky.

Now I’m left to wonder why Poeks and her sister were talking about rrrrred’s mother being a whore.

Which is the only thing that makes sense, because if Poeks and her sister were having the conversation together, saying “YOUR MOM’S A WHORE” seems like one of those “You’re rubber and I’m glue” type of arguments like when your mom calls you a sonofabitch and then realized that one kind of backfired on her.

Of course that never stopped me from calling [my twin](http://jamietie.com) ugly…

5 days ago (Comments)